Aldi's. The grocery store from hell. Now to clarify before this offends frequenters of this discount market, the prices simply can not be beat. Three rolls of paper towels for 1.79 or 12 onions for 2.29. Pretty awesome. But the fun began way before the discounts. Upon entering the store, we were asked if we needed a cart by an unassuming man who mentioned something under his breath about needing some spare change and wondering if needed change for a dollar. I laughed thinking he was joking about something I just didn't understand. Our parting was with him telling us he would wait for us to come out with the cart, which is not something that usually happens, you know. Strange but, okay. The next experience, checkout. Caught off-guard by a man that I thought worked there, we were vaguely propositioned to have our groceries paid for if we would let him use his card. My immediate response was "yeah, of course," but after saying it I thought "I don't know what I just got myself into but I am pretty sure we are probably going to end up paying for it." I was surprised when the nice man actually swiped his card, and it all made sense when his read "food stamp purchase." He then asked us kindly for $40 cash, which actually ended up being a $8 discount for us. Stickin it to the man. I was quite impressed by this menuvre actually, even though I am sure we are not the first girls he has dooped. Continuing on, back outside with the cart, we were surprised to find that our favorite cart man was in fact waiting for us. It was then that we realized that that it costs a quarter to rent a cart and we had jipped the nice man his quarter by taking his cart. To make up for it, we gave him two quarters and his cart back, meaning that he made a profit of a half of a dollar from us for a cart that we probably didn't need in the first place. But the trip was not complete until a woman with no teeth and a a dime in her ear, literally, not sure that would even have any meaning metaphorically, approached us for money for bread and lunch meat.  Having just been suckered by the man with the cart, we were apprehensive to give anyone else money, and since she had a dime in her ear, I was not sure where my money would end up.  By the time we got to the car, however, the woman with lucrative orifices had caught up to us and was standing on the other side of the parking lot fence with her hands extended through the bars, asking again to help "a pregnant and homeless mother to buy bread and lunch meat."  Although I have heard it all before, for some reason, I liked her style.  And it may be because Abby met with the Hyde Park Pro-lifers today or my insane love of honey-ham lunch meat myself, but I just had a picture of some little kiddo eating a PB&J when they should be eating a meaty sub. Needless to say, at the end of the day, I was out $5.50.
Noob.